How do you hear God speak?

Motherhood is such a gift. Not only because God hand-crafted three little boys for me, but because it is the biggest form of communication between God and me, especially in this season. Not only that, but I also get to see God everyday in my kids. Their unique personalities, their eyes, their laughs, smiles, voices, are all from Him. Each of them uniquely designed by the God of the universe and given to me for this life.

“Before I formed you in your mother’s womb, I knew you, before you were born I set you apart…” Jeremiah 1:5

How absolutely incredible and overwhelming to be chosen for such an honor. They, chosen for me and me for them with purpose and intentionality.

Each child grows you in a new way. As a woman, as a mom, as a wife. Each season fosters growth through every challenge and experience. Third time mom me is not the same as first time mom me.

Paxton (age 6) is my first and therefore, sometimes can kind of feel like the “test run”. There is no such thing as a test run with God, but for me, I’ve never done this before. I’ve never been a mom to a 6 year old so I have to learn as well. I have to be willing to accept this truth and grow along side him. We’ve had some rough ones, him and I, like any mom and son, but at the end of a battle I can always see how God uses each situation for both of our good and growth. There have been multiple times where the words coming out of my mouth are not only for Pax, but for me too.

“Pax, you are not always going to understand why daddy and mommy tell you to do things, you can always ask why, but you just won’t always understand. You have to trust that we are doing what we think is best for you because we love you so much.”

If that wasn’t straight from God, I don’t know what was. Has He ever said that to you?

“Just trust Me. I see the big picture right now and you do not. I’ve got you.”

It was so fitting for the personal struggles I was going through at the time as well and exactly what I needed to hear. No coincidence there.

“Your attitude is everything right now. Sometimes you have to adjust the plan to make it work however you can, even if it’s not how you wanted or thought it would work out, you need to be flexible.”

WOOSH. That one actually stopped me mid-sentence while I was saying the words to Pax. I stopped, smiled and cried a little, as I continued with the word knowing full and well that once again, God was showing me what I needed to do in my personal challenge while I was trying to help Pax navigate his challenge.

It’s overwhelming, in a really good way. The intense love I feel for my kids doesn’t even compare to the intense love God has for His kids. When I’m struggling or sad or frustrated, God is right there ready to comfort me if I let Him. That’s really the key… We have to LET Him. When my kids get hurt I ask if I can hug and kiss them and sometimes they say no at first, which is really hard for a mama because all I want to do is comfort and love them in that moment. God is the same way with His kids.

Motherhood has been very humbling in many ways. As crazy as my kids can make me when they don’t listen or just do things their way, even those situations God uses to show me that I am no different. I don’t always listen to my husband’s advice the first time around nor do I always choose to open my ears immediately to what God is saying to me. The stubborn side of me comes out far too often. We all just like to "come up with the idea on our own." Tell me you're not the same?!

Kids need guidance, structure, discipline, unconditional love and so do I. Jesus speaks to me every day through motherhood in one way or another. Sometimes I need corrected and guidance, all the time I need love and grace, but whatever it is, He is right there for me as a loving Father.

There is nothing quite like motherhood to remind you day after day that you aren’t actually in control. I am learning to live with open hands, but honestly I say that often not fully grasping what it really means. I still try to make my own plans and expect things to go a certain way and time after time, wouldn’t you know, it doesn’t go that way and I’m left frustrated, angry or sad. Only when I truly open my hands and surrender my plans to God, is it that I receive full peace and joy in whatever I am doing, whether I have to pivot or not. I’m also learning that I CAN jump all in, I CAN make plans, but more importantly I have to trust God to lead each step, one day at a time. Friend, it ain't easy, but I will keep trying!

As moms, we get to do a lot. We organize the schedule, cook, clean, run errands, play with and educate our kids all while trying our best to take care of ourselves as well. The chaos of life can easily take over and it can feel like there aren't enough hours in the day, so as a mom, I've had to learn how to also make time for my health.

"What do you do to fill your cup? Who takes care of you while you're taking care of everyone else?"

It's my greatest joy to answer that with a, "Jesus does!" I love my cup of coffee and my workouts, but my daily time with God is what fills my cup. He renews me. He strengthens me. He encourages me. He sustains me. God alone gives me the capacity and allows me to do all the things I get to do for my kids, my family and myself! When I try to show up in my own strength to get all the things done, it doesn’t take long for overwhelm and angst to set in and then I get absolutely nothing done! When I start my day with God and invite Him into every little task and detail, He leads and He makes a way. The best choice I can make for myself and my family each day, is to run on His fuel.

God is continuously using motherhood to change me. The way my children need me day after day is the same way I need God day after day. I can't do this without Him. He is life, He is love, He is light in the darkness and I am simply grateful for the small things, the big things and everything in between. He gets all the glory.

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You are so loved friend. You are the beloved son/daughter of the King of the universe. That is no small honor. He chose you, knit you together and calls you HIS. Walk in that truth today and go love your family, yourself, and others. You are a treasure and I pray you not only know that, but you feel that, deep in your heart and soul.

I love you and Jesus loves you more!